Sex Toys and SM: How to Use it in Bed

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Who would have thought: Oral sex ranks among the sex preferences at No. 1 in men and women. What makes the sex lovers otherwise sense when it comes to the matter shows a large survey.

Who wants sex how often?


A statement that everyone has heard before: Men want sex more often than their wives. The majority of women (44%) and men (41%) are satisfied with the frequency of sex. However, 38% of men said that their wife often does not feel like it. Conversely, only 13% of women often encounter a listless partner. If there is sometimes a discrepancy in frequency, in the time of day there is agreement: 44% of all respondents gave “Sex in the evening” as a favorite. For the Beginners guide to anal play here are the options.

Sex preferences: good to know

Sex of the same sex: 83% of women said they were attracted to the idea of ??becoming physical with another woman. Only 17% of men find sex with same sex appealing. It is categorically excluded for 37% of women and 76% of men.

Who do Germans think about sex? 67% of respondents think of their own partner. Behind this comes a fictitious person with 13%, an acquaintance with 8%, and the partner with 3% and a prominent person with 1%.

You would like to put your partner over your knee or are you curious if a few targeted slaps on the butt would make you want more?! So much in advance: you are not alone! And on this “spanking” both hardcore BDSM fans and experimental newcomers can agree quite wonderfully. The reasons: Spanking is safe, garnished with the tickle of the taboo and just feels really bad.

Aim for the sweet spot.

The so-called “sweet spot” is located at the bottom of the buttocks, just above the thighs. Here targeted blows stimulate the nerve endings, which otherwise provide elsewhere for example, labia, clitoris or anus for erotic heights. In short: even a small tap on the right spot ensures the release of the messenger substance dopamine so it is guaranteed exciting and is therefore very wonderful as extra-hot foreplay. Refinery29 gave an idea on role-playing.

Watch out! Concentrate on spanking only on the buttocks or the upper part of the thighs. Strikes on the lower back or tailbone can lead to painful injuries. First the fun, then the spanking pleasure comes.

Especially for spanking newcomers: to take advantage of the exciting moment of the oh-so-sweet slaps, first of all you bring body and mind on (excitation) course. In other words, do a good workout – for example, with the help of a vibrator because that can make all the difference between “oh dear” and “oh yeah!” But even during the spanking, a vibrator or pulsate can provide the extra kick at any time and catapult your excitement to unimaginable heights – and even freehand. Another way to heighten up the excitement is to have sex in a totally different place. Like when you would use a vibrator when travelling. You’ll enjoy the excitement of stifling your moans while having a go with your toy.

Mix it, baby

Note: Spanking is not a drum solo! Vary the intensity of the slaps and blend in softer touches and tender tickling among your beating arguments. Observe the reaction of your partner at any time and adapt your “mix” accordingly.

Paddle – for advanced.

Take your spanking games to the next level with a paddle! Thanks to a robust plastimorph core, our silicone paddle buck you can perfectly control, fits well in the hand and is also strong enough for a few targeted, satisfying pats.

The trick: the handle of the innovative spanking toys acts as a dildo. Extra fun guarantees the buck you in a jiffy.

The best BDSM sex toy for beginners

Sex toy industry introduce you to the most versatile BDSM Sextoys for beginners, which not only provide a solid basis for initial experiments, but are also found in every well-stocked BDSM toy case. If you’re new to BDSM, the trim options can be overwhelming. It makes sense to have all the important toys and tools at hand before you try your first scenes and games.

The following BDSM beginner sextoys are the classic BDSM basics because they offer the maximum versatility in terms of intensity and style, while sparing your wallet. In addition, you can stage almost any classical scene with you.

A Blindfold

Mind withdrawal is one of the cornerstones of the BDSM. If one sense is limited, the others are intensified. With covered eyes suddenly every sound, smell, every touch turns into a sparkling, mysterious adventure. Covering the eyes and the head can be the first step towards objectification and dehumanization, creating a strong sense of separateness in the sub.

There are a wide selection of blindfolds and hoods, but at the beginning there are also normal household items like a sleep mask or a dark scarf entirely. Halloween masks are an interesting variant for role-playing games, as they restrict the field of vision but do not blind completely.


With the gag or “gag” the sub can be taken the opportunity to speak. It is important to choose the right size here, because too big a gag can cause mouth and jaw problems. Better start smaller or use an O-ring gag on soft material. A cloth that is tied around the head and sits between the teeth like a bar-gag is the simplest and cheapest method. In case of doubt, the panties can simply be stuffed into the mouth of the sub.


Shackles are known from relevant BDSM scenes and the possibilities are numerous. Bondage tape is easy to use, inexpensive and only sticks to itself. However, you cannot reuse it. Velcro wrist straps and ankle cuffs are also great for starters. For simple bondage games, a cotton clothesline is recommended at the beginning. Important here is the material, because e.g. nylon can quickly lead to injuries of the skin. Therefore, make sure that the leash is made of cotton.

Cable ties and handcuffs should be avoided by beginners, as they may become tight and not only very uncomfortable, it can also cause nerve damage. Adhesive tape irritates the skin and rips the hair out. So it is also unsuitable for bondage.

Body Clamps

Clamps offer so many possibilities. Nipple clamps are particularly popular and can not only be used on the nipples. You can use them on the labia, the testicles, tongue and lips. There are different types of adjustable clamps, such as tweezers style or with adjusting screws. The best way to look at the selection is depending on the type of pain that is more stimulating. For beginners, rubberized clamps with set screws are particularly good as they can cover the entire spectrum from very gentle to heavy pressure. Of course you can also experiment with clothespins, but remember that wooden clothespins usually “bite” very hard.